Recipes * Critters * Garden * Stories *

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Score

This was written last May, 2013.

Today for my birthday I'm all alone in the house, me and the dog. I saw two of the boys @ a family funeral last weekend, which doubles as a get together in the Book of Boy, that and the upcoming Mother's Day weekend get together with Grandma Joy as she turns 90.  My birthday runs so close to Mother's Day that we combine them, and often Tim's birthday too, on the 24th.

In the unexpected quiet, I am taking stock.

I am so grateful for this fine man whose love I count on and return. Three fine boys that I would like to see more often, but you get what you get in that regard.

Reasonably good health, save for the self induced aches and pains from not acting my age. A strong inner child that drives me - no matter what happens and what setbacks there are - with hope and faith to light the way. It is always a forward quest when you believe life is limitless.

A friend came to visit a few months back and we spent the day talking of her recent loss and life's difficulties that have somehow gathered into a storm. As we talked about our journey together, through my divorce, and raising the kids and everything in-between, she teared up at my evident happiness. It gave her hope for herself, she said.

I thought about that after, how rarely we get the chance to see our life through another's eyes. It is good to remember that everything is temporary -- the good and bad together will pass to something new -- and if we can just remember to take the time to savor it, we won't overlook the tiny pixel moments that make a life. 

I appreciate having a forgiving nature and a well developed crap-o-meter. It's a pain to be so introspective and yet I wouldn't want to skip the lesson. I push back when I am wronged and sometimes just let it go. All of that has brought me somewhere absolutely new: in balance.

Life
is
just
right.

If it sways this way or that, I don't lose the beam. Chores are stacking up with an impossible list of projects and weeds galore, but I'm not stressed. The job or finances or family squabbles don't freak me out like they used to. I know that things will unknot themselves if I leave it alone.

What I am keenly aware of is the impact of transformative love. I have no doubt the future holds magnificent and surprising and joyful secrets along with the tears. Right here, right now, let me stop to savor the feeling of having enough.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Win

It was a big weekend @ the farm, with the Hubs turning 60.  Folks were invited up for a buffet and to see the Kings Vs the Celtics down at the Arena.

Friday they began trickling in and a birthday surround sound was installed in the perfect-for-a-media-room Room and tested with Monsters U and Lord of the Rings, and the Olympics. 

The Olympics was a disappointment, as usual. Everything seemed a little too extreme: the hype, fanfare, costuming, speed, interpretive skating, and risks.  I kept wondering what the ancient Greeks would think of the glitz and spectacle that it has become, and I concluded: not much.

The weekend was begging for something old school, and so we put on an old fashioned, put-out-the-welcome-mat kind of get together. It's been a long time since we've done an open house, and it was fun. Everyone came and were fun to be around.  The food was made ahead so even I visited and enjoyed everyone's company. It was the kind of get together we imagined the first time we saw the place, guest rooms full and laughter spilling out of the shop, the kitchen, the rooms upstairs.

We were knee deep in dogs ~ our two plus two ~ never quite sure how that will go, but it was fine. There was only one little mishap that involved 3 dogs and 1 ball and we got a handle on that situation pretty quick. And nobody even pee'd on the floor.

We chuckled watching a dozen or so guests in shorts and shirt sleeves wandering around with a small bottle of mosquito repellent sticking out of their pockets. Imagine having to do that in the 3rd week of February.  These 70 degree not-so wintery days are obviously confusing more than just the Bearded Iris, mosquitos and Daffodils.

The dogs charged up the stairs at 5 in the morning, and the Hubs expertly intercepted them just short of the open guest room door. So that was a win.

The Kings won.

Everyone trickled out slowly by Sunday afternoon with a good time smile. Win.

There were enough leftovers so yours truly didn't cook tonight. Win.

And there were lots of smooches for a great birthday weekend.  Pretty good way to spend our time, if you ask me.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Craving our Allergies

Reading up this morning about allergies disguised as food cravings. I've thought for a while we crave what we shouldn't be eating...

The Hubs and I started out 2013 with a desire for preservative free and home made meals. Growing a garden, harvesting our fruit, and doing right by our bodies. Shifting life in reverse, nutritionally speaking.

So this theory that our bodies create an intense desire for things that are bad for us, not just the normal eating desire but those things that are forbidden as a dietary staple was really intriguing. Do we really crave chocolate, processed, GMO salty foods, and soda for that reason?  It made me think of cigarettes and the chemically enhanced additives that create that type of intense need.

I stumbled over thinking allergies are more than just runny noses and labored breathing, and they can be recognized in more subtle ways: constipation, gas, bloating, headache and fatigue.  For instance, at a dinner party the meal doesn't sit well with one person but is fine for everyone else may mean they have eaten food(s) that has triggered a reaction. 

The body has to fight back, using energy that might leave a person feeling tired, lethargic and sick. I've definitely felt that way sometimes after eating.

So the next phase of good nutrition became trying to identify when it happens and what we consumed. We discovered a few months ago that the Hubs was lactose intolerant and I had a sensitivity to molds when fruits and veggies are not properly cleansed. We adjusted our diets, and readjusted, and again, but still that nagging truth was telling us our diet was too food heavy and exercise light.

So in addition to our nutritional balance being off, we had to tackle the volume control part. We are busy around the farm but not the healthy, sustained heart rate of exercise. So in January we started down that road. 

I increased my intake (and the timing) of water, honestly used portion control with the aide of a
smaller plate, kept the food in the kitchen rather than at the table, and watched it happen. People suspicioned I was eating differently, but other than making reasonable choices (taking 1/2 baked potato rather than a plate of tater tots, and 1 scone rather than 2) I wasn't.

In the first six weeks I've lost 12 lbs. 

But that's not all. I am sleeping better, feel more alert and have more energy.

For the first time in a long time, I am feeling my stomach's subtle sensor when it goes off. It makes a gentle ping when it's 3/4 full and if I stop then I have room for expansion as the meal digests. I leave the table not bloated or groggy. It isn't a full feeling, but it is a satisfied one. Different. Better. That is a new feeling for a foodie who lingers after dinner chatting with the Hubs and picking at whatever is left.

This diet isn't full of sacrifice and longing, although check back with me in a month after we add in the exercise!

I think there really is something to this allergen craving business. As we started putting our diet in check, I noticed a natural drop off of cravings for the stuff I'd usually be rooting through the pantry to find.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Bridges in the Rain (or Rescue Dog Land Mines)

Don't you hate knowing things are lurking just beneath the surface that will spring out at the most inopportune time?

We finally - Hallelujah - got a storm front moving through the area. On Thursday it was drizzly, but on Friday it positively poured. We all opened the blinds at work and just watched the miracle of the plants soaking it in.

Underneath the layers of leaves that haven't gone anywhere at the farm because there wasn't a good old fashioned storm to blow them away, there is mud. The dogs know this, of course, and Sam especially longs for it. Her nostrils flare as she sniffs out an available gooey patch, her snout roots around first, and then she rolls her cheek and neck in it, and if you aren't quick on the retract button on the leash, she is on her side and wiggling onto her back. The only hope from that point is being spared the joyful jump that wipes out your clothes.

Lily came to us at the end of June and the hot and dry summer turned into a very dry fall and winter, until yesterday.  We walk the girls out and back to the bathroom since there are no fences, and there's some local wildlife we'd prefer to avoid.

Anyway.

It was raining sideways on Friday night when the dogs gave us The Look and waited patiently by the door as the Hubs piled on the gear and fished out a halogen flashlight to take them one by one across the way to the Depository. They distract one another looking for the Chuck-It Ball or chasing the same stick if they go out together and it takes twice as long.

The Hubs clipped the retractable leash to Lily's collar who always goes first because she just HAS TO, and led her out onto the stoop. Typical. Routine.

He kind of dragged her along over to the Depository and Lily kind of freaked out. It was raining forcefully and there was a lot of wind. He coaxed her along and in seconds instead of minutes she had Power Pottied and was unexpectedly bolting for the house.

I didn't get to see all of this. What I saw was the crazy beams of light hitting the house as I imagined the Hubs taking long strides to keep up.

Ok, I'll admit that I chuckled a bit at the light show and couldn't really hear the shouting over the drone of the rain. I was just happy he offered to take her and not me. I was warm and dry on the sofa.

I glanced up as the door opened and saw a streak of white with black spots shoot down the hall, back out and into the kitchen and around through the dining room to the office, and in a half dive/half skid landed very unladylike in my lap. Whuaaamp! 

The Hubs was dripping all over the hall, exclaiming he had never seen an expression like that on a dog. He took Sammy the Autopilot dog - trotted out, she did her thing and they were back in a flash. Sammy is amazing.

So I softened my voice, dried her off, cuddled her up and ... and e v e n t u a l l y things calmed down.

Whoops: Landmine! No warning (again). Lily knows her history - but we can only guess what life must have been like before she found her way here.

We were anxious as the one last trip of the night came along.  God Bless the Hubs for suiting up and Sam did her thing and he dragged the Unwilling One over over to accomplish the goal. I watched Lily a little less scared coming back the 2nd time, and how she concentrated on his face for the praise and treat for a job well done. She obviously loves and trusts him.

Rain is expected for many days to come, thankfully. But tonight I am feeling pretty proud of this little dog who in one short day was able to work through her fear. She really wasn't going to be left out in the rain and forgotten. We had the rare privilege of watching Lily build a bridge.

Friday, February 7, 2014

The Rockin' B

I guess it would be natural for the Hubs and I to be having one of our heart-to-hearts about futures with him jumping the hurdle to 60 this month. Let's just say I can see his butt from where I'm standing, we are so close in age.

I'm not sure he's feeling it, the excitement of standing on the edge of a brand new era the way I am. 

I love the longing feeling of not being ready each morning to leave home behind. There's so many interesting things to do now, things to learn and try and explore.

I love feeling the transition deep inside from a sole-focused work world to it being just one facet of many interesting things to do.

I feel confident about what it means to be 60 and beyond. For me, it means in short order we will know if we have been careful and prudent enough with savings and investments to be able to decide how to spend our time. And by our age, now is the time to correct mistakes or live by them.

It's interesting how our friends respond to our lifestyle change. We hear comments about the awesome house, but the location is, well, pretty out there. I'd say so: with a town of 51 and 10 minutes from the nearest grocery store, we're a little remote. Randy's pop amusedly got out of the car on his first visit and exclaimed, What Were You Thinking?!!  Just once I'd like to be a fly in the car listening to our guests on the drive up.

Of course we don't see any of that anymore. The farm has transformed us inside and out. We have finally found the balanced path we have sought and never found. It has an unrefined and limitless charm about it. There is joy in the weeds and puddles and yes, even the overgrown trees that need attention.

One of our friends who totally gets it aptly dubbed our place The Rockin' B.  Great*Name*Lib!

So bring on the canning equipment and recipes taped 3 deep to the microwave. Bring on the mouse in the house, a workshop full of ideas, and dogs up to their bellies in mud. Bring on the shooting range and ample trees and gardens. For us, it's a dream come true.

Monday, February 3, 2014

A Dog @ the Door

The large crate we got for our dog just isn't cutting it.

Sam The Lab is very well trained and can roam free, because she has never messed with anything even as a puppy. But our newest addition Lily the Pit was not taught to distinguish between the outside and inside, and that has been a long hard climb. It's not her fault, it's just how it is. So we always keep Sam in the master during the day and Lil is in an ample sized crate in the livingroom.

There's a baby gate up at the hall since Lily is still working on indoor manners, and she goes happily into the crate and sometimes just hangs out there, so we thought things were good.   

About a month ago, the Hubs was alarmed to come home to a very excited and proud dog who had evidently had the run of the house for the day. His heart sank, I'm sure imagining all sorts of things - the leather furniture and all the things we value and leave sitting out.  His quick scan turned up things that were chewed up and presents left upstairs, and there was this one bottle of oozing liquid which trashed the office carpet, not that it didn't need replacing anyway, but still. Generally, though, we understood that the house got a pass.  We could tell, though, that every forbidden surface had been laid on and explored.

I assumed I hadn't latched the crate correctly.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and last week we met for dinner after work. He left from home, latched top and bottom firmly, and an hour or so later Lily met us at the door. What the heck! Bottom latch was securely fastened, top latch was unlocked and sort of banged up, meaning the door was a little tweaked. We surmised this big chested, too smart for her own good dog figured a way to angle through the small opening and get out. Again, we strolled through the house noticing a few things out of whack, a roll of unrolled TP all over the bathroom floor and the kitchen island shelves having been explored.

Last Thursday, I forgot my cell and had to go inside just as I was leaving for work ... and was met at the door.  Ok that does it.  The Hubs and I huddled by phone and I fished through the garage and came up with 2 locks- a lobster claw type and a hook type. It was a little disconcerting that her face was right down there in earnest concentration watching as they were put on.

Everything was locked securely, I went to work, and she remained in the crate. This extra locking idea was pretty good. Little did we know she was just working things out in her head.

Yesterday after being out for several hours, we returned home to a dog at the door.  We looked disappointingly at the official AKC crate. It was standing wide open, and the metal hook holding the plastic tray had been bent so the tray could be pushed all the way out, which it was. The bottom bars were also bent and twisted a little. Those extra locks were hanging from the door, latched and still in place.

But THIS TIME the house was perfect. She had chewed up just one small thing in the bathroom, and she found a stuffed bear upstairs that she brought down to snuggle with on the bedding sheets piled and ready for the washer. Its nose was wet from licking. We were so proud of her, she got 10,000 extra bonus points for the good dog she is trying to be.

Friends suggested a BabyCam - good idea. We're thinking of Houdini these days, and his daring escape from the straightjacket with heavy chains. If this keeps up, we're changing her name.