Score

This was written last May, 2013.

Today for my birthday I'm all alone in the house, me and the dog. I saw two of the boys @ a family funeral last weekend, which doubles as a get together in the Book of Boy, that and the upcoming Mother's Day weekend get together with Grandma Joy as she turns 90.  My birthday runs so close to Mother's Day that we combine them, and often Tim's birthday too, on the 24th.

In the unexpected quiet, I am taking stock.

I am so grateful for this fine man whose love I count on and return. Three fine boys that I would like to see more often, but you get what you get in that regard.

Reasonably good health, save for the self induced aches and pains from not acting my age. A strong inner child that drives me - no matter what happens and what setbacks there are - with hope and faith to light the way. It is always a forward quest when you believe life is limitless.

A friend came to visit a few months back and we spent the day talking of her recent loss and life's difficulties that have somehow gathered into a storm. As we talked about our journey together, through my divorce, and raising the kids and everything in-between, she teared up at my evident happiness. It gave her hope for herself, she said.

I thought about that after, how rarely we get the chance to see our life through another's eyes. It is good to remember that everything is temporary -- the good and bad together will pass to something new -- and if we can just remember to take the time to savor it, we won't overlook the tiny pixel moments that make a life. 

I appreciate having a forgiving nature and a well developed crap-o-meter. It's a pain to be so introspective and yet I wouldn't want to skip the lesson. I push back when I am wronged and sometimes just let it go. All of that has brought me somewhere absolutely new: in balance.

Life
is
just
right.

If it sways this way or that, I don't lose the beam. Chores are stacking up with an impossible list of projects and weeds galore, but I'm not stressed. The job or finances or family squabbles don't freak me out like they used to. I know that things will unknot themselves if I leave it alone.

What I am keenly aware of is the impact of transformative love. I have no doubt the future holds magnificent and surprising and joyful secrets along with the tears. Right here, right now, let me stop to savor the feeling of having enough.